Caregivers often ignore their own needs. Some find themselves virtually homebound and consumed by caregiving tasks. When you are a caregiver, ignoring your own needs is not only potentially damaging to you, but it can also be harmful to the person who depends on you. Many nursing home placements are precipitated by the caregiver's exhaustion, illness or death. Hopefully the information and referral sources on this site will help prevent such a situation for you and your loved one. The causes of stress vary with the caregiver and his or her responsibilities. What creates stress for you may not create stress for someone else. Once you have identified the sources of your stress, you must determine which ones you can do something about and which are beyond your control. Successful coping involves accepting what you can and cannot control.

There are five basic strategies to help control the destructive effects of stress:

1. Set realistic goal and expectations Plan achievable goals Develop realistic expectations 2. Establish your limits 3. Ask for and accept help

4. Take care of yourself Express you feelings Maintain your health 5. Involve other people Hold a family conference Seek professional's assistance Use your community resources

• Caregiver's decisions should not be based only on the needs and desires of the person needing care. You must also consider the consequences of caregiving decisions for yourself and those close to you. Making these decisions is an essential part of self-care, which in turn will help you provide effective care for others.

1. Choose to take charge of your life, don't let your loved one's illness always take center stage
2. Remember to be good to yourself. Love, honor and value yourself. You're doing a very hard job and you deserve quality time, just for you.
3. Watch out for signs of depression, and don't delay in getting professional help when you need it.
4. When people offer to help, accept the offer and suggest specific things they can do.
5. Educate yourself about your loved one's condition. Information is empowering.
6. Be open to technologies and ideas that promote your loved one's independence.
7. Trust your instincts
8. Grieve for your losses, and then allow yourself to dream new dreams.
9. Stand up for your rights as a caregiver.
10. Seek Support from other caregivers.

There are resources in our community to assist you with all of these concerns. Please refer to the Resources and Services sections of this website.

1. Family members
2. Community resources
3. Social/Personal support network
4. Internet links
5. Books and other publications
6. Legal aid/guidance